Thursday, June 15, 2006

My heart is heavy and my feet feel so weighty that going out to the daily ride on my exercise bike seems like a feat too tiring to attempt, but I know that this feeling passes and that things will come to a place of happiness again very soon. This afternoon I will watch one amazing young friend graduate from a career in high school that leads to Yale.

The heaviness comes from the fact that in the last few days I have met 3 new Soul families.
On Sunday before the lovely wedding I shot at Golden Gardens, I visited Children's Hospital for a pretty new baby girl. She had the most charming sister who plans on becoming a "fire girl" and a dentist. At age 4 she informs me that she will be whatever she dreams when she grows up. She was so dear with her baby sister and succeeded in assisting me to get the shots her parents wanted by being able to get her sis to open her eyes. Yesterday I was pleased to meet a new family for some very special shots and I will revisit them in the next months to complete the vision that this most loving mom has for photos of her son. Lastly, our new manager Christine took a message from a doctor asking if I could come right away as a tiny one had arrived weeks before expected and would not survive. With loving words from my sister-in-law who was the first that I worked with in a similar situation, I entered the UW hospital for a sad 30 minutes and left hoping that the few shots I had taken will portray the love and the loss in a way will bring some bit of comfort in a situation that is every parent's worst nightmare. I may never know this couple in any other way, but I put out to the universe that their loss touches my soul.

On Tuesday, I spent a number of hours with old friends, sharing with the wife some of the sorrow and devastation of their loss of a beautiful and accomplished daughter that was the age of our Llewelyn. I do not pretend to know the feelings of such a loss, but I am now privy to a world that lets me know that nothing can be taken for granted. If I learn nothing else I learn that living each day fully is a very worthy goal. So the past few days have been hard as living fully must mean letting yourself experience that pain while recognizing the way back to joy. This blog is such a blessing as it allows me some of the needed release of just sharing with kind and compassionate people. As I told a dear friend yesterday, I am not complaining, I don't want to be less involved, I just need to let out some of the sorrow so that I can move ahead.

I did have a nice evening painting a bowl that was so beautifully crafted by a young artist I so admire. He had made enough bowls for my little art group to paint in celebration of Lise's birthday. Lise is Auni's mom, and as those of you who read this blog know, she is our beloved intern who is leaving to visit Europe and start what I am sure will be a most illustrious college career. Spending time with my friends at this art group always settles me into a place that is one of comfort and support and caring. Thank you dearest friends for allowing me to reset my course without pulling away.

June 15 is Francisco and Echo's birthday. Blessings to the family of Francisco as they mourn his loss on this special day and great joy to Echo's family as they celebrate this milestone. In love and peace, Lynette